You might be a Redneck Pagan if... - If you think "widdershins" refers to the calves of the bereaved lady next door.... - If you think fetch deer is a command you give yer dawg.... - If you think a goblet is a young turkey.... - If you think Drawing Down the Moon means demolishing the outhouse.... - If you call your coven mates "Bud" and "Sis".... - If you think a Great Rite is turning onto County Road 13.... - If your Quarter candles smell like kerosene.... - If you pronounce "Athame" as "Athaym" and "Samhain" as "Sammon" or "Sam-hayn".... - If you think a "Sidhe" is a girl.... - If your idea of the "Goddess" is the Coors Swedish Bikini Ski Team... - If your Bard plays the banjo.... - If your 'Long Lost Friend really IS.... - If your lawn is decorated with at least one, preferably two or more, plastic pink flamingos, whom you regard as your familiars.... - If your Wand of Power is a cattle prod.... - If your ceremonial belt has your name on the back and a belt buckle bigger than your head.... - If you call the Quarters by invoking "Billy, Joe, Jim and Bob".... - If you call the Gods by hollerin' "Hey y'all, watch me!".... - If your favorite robe has the logo of a manufacturer of major farm equipment on the back.... - If you've ever harvested ritual herbs with a weed whacker.... - If your ritual staff is a double barrel shotgun.... - If your ritual garments include any one of the following: plaid flannels, long johns, a pistol belt, or cowboy boots.... - If you've ever blessed chewing tobacco or snuff.... - If your ritual wine is Mad Dog 20/20, Night Train or White Lady 21... - If the instructions to get to your Covenstead include the words "After you turn off the paved road".... - If your altar-cloth is a rebel flag.... - If you use junk cars to mark the four corners of your circle.... - If your Eternal Flame just happens to be under a still.... - If you use an engine block for an altar.... - If your High Priestess is your cousin - as well as your wife.... - If, when drawing down the moon, you say, "Ya'll come on down, ya hear?"… - If your pickup truck has an Athame rack.... - If your crystal ball is made of polystyrene (i.e., a bowling ball)... - If your High Priestess has a spittoon on her altar.... - If you have Stone Henge made from old refrigerators in your back yard. - If you have Pan horns mounted on your cowboy hat. - If your totem animal is either possum or Coon. - If ritual Cakes and Ale consist of R.C. Cola and Moon Pies. - If you summon Elvis and Marilyn Monroe to circle. - If background music comes from one of these: Soundtrack to Deliverance, Hee Haw,... - If your working Altar is a child's Easy Bake Oven.
Hey! What's wrong with RC Cola and moon pies, I ask you?!
LMAO....just kidding.
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All opinions stated in my posts are just that...my opinions...and should not be held in any way as the opinions of the CEPF Board of Directors or of anyone other than myself. - Rev. Heidi Andrews VP CEPF
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh!^..."
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All opinions stated in my posts are just that...my opinions...and should not be held in any way as the opinions of the CEPF Board of Directors or of anyone other than myself. - Rev. Heidi Andrews VP CEPF
lol
