Thoughts On Depression

Sometimes it is just too easy to quit.

Sometimes it is just too hard to keep going.

Sometimes I don't care.

Sometimes I care too much.

The pain is inside,

The pain is outside.

Sometimes I just want it to stop.

Sometimes I think about stopping it.

Then you show up.

You either call or come over, and I have no choice.

I have to stay here.

I have to keep going.

I have to keep feeling.

Why do you tie me to this world?

Why do you care so much whether I'm here or not?

Why do I have to care so much for you?

Why can't I just rest, sleep, find peace?

The joy of having you in my life is all that saves me.

The joy of having you in my heart is all that keeps me going.

I am to this life because of you.

We belong here and now.

I fight the darkness with everything I am,

Because I know I have to if I want to survive.

I want to survive because you have shown me what Love is.

You have shown me that the Light is my Salvation.

The doors we opened together have changed me.

I still want to sleep, find peace,

But I know that I will be able to do that only when I am free.

I will not be free until I finish the work set before me.

You will not let me go.

You say it is because you love me.

I love you so much it hurts.

That is why I set you free.

My advice to you?

Run, don't walk, to your nearest exit.

That way, you won't see the end, and I won't feel the guilt.

As long as you stay, I can't leave.

As long as I stay, there is pain.

Run.

I am.